The 2009 Register Vol.10: Keen One

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Ah, 2009. The dirty whore of a year that let me fingerbang her in the backseat of my mom’s Reliant K. If she didn’t get so god damn clingy after that I may have enjoyed her more. What did she REALLY bring us other than Slap Chop, Precious, and a shitty Snoop Dogg album (c’mon Uncle Snoop. I’ve been ridin’ for you since we were the same body type back in 1992. Do another ‘Blue Carpet’ or stop. Please)? Nothing. Except a gang of dead celebs which weren’t named Asher Roth- a glaring oversight on the part of Death, if you ask me.


Actually, let’s elaborate on that. Michael Jackson is dead. Really? I cried like a black-headed mulatto adoptee when I heard that news. I still get emo when I see a back-lit sidewalk. Dun. Dun. *sniff* Dun. Dun. But yet, a dribbling cock hole like Asher Roth is still free to roam the college circuit spewing his ‘DUDER parties are fun and I totally am a member of the Black Student Union’ brand of rap that makes white kids feel cozier than a Snuggy on a sneezing panda bear.

Anyway. I’m not sure if I am supposed to talk about myself here or what and I refuse to read what anyone else wrote cause I’m an arrogant prick like that, so fuck it. I made a rap album this summer with my pals. It’s called “getaway” and you can listen here (thekeenone.bandcamp.com – plz embed) and download it here (www.tiny.cc/keen420). I also just spent 2 weeks in Iowa working on an album with DJ Starscream (Slipknot #0) who makes pretty fancy hip hop beats. We will be releasing that in the 2010. So check for that.

And now, since people like lists, here are some New Jack Swing/Non Rap but still “Urban”/Whatever you categorize INOJ as songs. Fuck yourselves.

5. INOJ – “Love You Down”

Best song ever.

4. Portrait- “Here We Go”

3. Groove Theory- “Tell Me”

2. K.P. & Envyi – “Swing My Way”

1. Zhane – “Hey Mr DJ”

That’s it. On a serious note, Rest In Peace to my young homie Agent Moe. You were the cipher king (starts at 15 seconds).

__________________

A tip of the hat to Keen. More Keen here and here.

Peace,
Employee

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