Ah, 2009. The dirty whore of a year that let me fingerbang her in the backseat of my mom’s Reliant K. If she didn’t get so god damn clingy after that I may have enjoyed her more. What did she REALLY bring us other than Slap Chop, Precious, and a shitty Snoop Dogg album (c’mon Uncle Snoop. I’ve been ridin’ for you since we were the same body type back in 1992. Do another ‘Blue Carpet’ or stop. Please)? Nothing. Except a gang of dead celebs which weren’t named Asher Roth- a glaring oversight on the part of Death, if you ask me.
