“My hands were all bloody from punchin’ on the concrete…”

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If you don’t already know, rap’s favorite one-eyed crawdad has converted to Christianity. People tend to spaz-the-fuck-out whenever anyone they know or used to know takes up religion. Let’s be honest, though: What else is this guy going to do with himself? The conversion-to-currency track record is anemic at best. I’m not expecting a breakthrough Gospel LP featuring cameos from Kirk Franklin and a spoken word intro by Joel Osteen. So while we celebrate Bill’s transition to the commandments of the Old and New testaments, let’s also reflect on his sordid, brilliant, nihilistic past-life.

Distributing science:

His greatest feature ever:

And while we all know about his epic wrap-up to the Geto Boys’ most revered anthem to insanity and Halloween misadventures, there is nary a ballad in his catalog as profound as this:

And if you don’t own any of these albums, you’re not living your life to its fullest potential.

I ask that everyone set aside a few moments in their busy schedules and pay homage to this larger-than-life little person.

Peace,
Employee

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