Due to the wild success of last weeks installment of Steady Hatin Blockhead and I have decided to pool our bottomless wells of hate and combine our efforts in a weekly hate off to take down the ills of our society and bring the public shaming, which has been sorely lacking, back into the public discourse. Each week we will present one another with three topics worthy of scorn and ridicule and skewer them as we see fit.

The Fat Kardassian Sister

Block
It’s real easy to shit on the fat kardassian. I mean, look at her. She’s the shrek like sister of two tiny hot pieces of ass. It’s only natural one might just look at her and hate without even realize they’re doing it. but, aside from her solomon grundy type frame, moon pie head and stupid face, there is more to hate about her. I have seen the show on E! (i know, i know) and while it it’s an infuriating task to watch it, it does give one a deeper look inside why the fat kardassian sucks. Not only is she big and fat, but she also is dumb ass bricks and annoying. I’ve got no issue with fat girls. They’re usually pretty merry and, in general, nice people. But if you’re both fat AND a dipshit, you’re pretty much worthless on all levels. So, while the hot kardassian sisters are undeniably terrible people, at least (for the time being) they have looks going for them. They can afford to be pieces of shit right now. Fattie though, not so much. maybe marrying Lamar Odom will make her a better person, but really, who fucking cares?

Soccer

Alaska
I dont care if it is the most popular sport in the world, the rest of the world is retarded.  Lets look at the places its huge.  Sure the UK is fun for a visit, but really?  do you know anyone from the UK other than Ricky Gervais that is even remotely likable after 15 minutes?  They love Robbie Williams, the rapper The Streets and boil meats.  Should we honestly give a fuck about what they like?  The rest of the people that like soccer are third world people.  Hey just like you I hope one day they get clean water and shoes, but they still dont have indoor bathrooms and we are supposed to follow their lead?  Think of it this way, we laugh at southerners and midwesterners for not believing in evolution, yet we would be cultured to follow a sport that is beloved by goat farmers and people that regularly lose limbs due to machette mishaps?  please.

Reggae/Rap Fusion
Block
I like old reggae. reggae with real instruments where the people singing have good singing voices. That shit is awesome. Where reggae went wrong was when it started taking elements of current music and blending it together. In the 90′s, most rappers had at least one song with a singing hook on the album and another that had “reggae” flavor. It’s as if it were in the contract to do so. Hearing rappers I loved and respected stumble through some half as reggae-esque chanting always drove me nuts. Around the same time, current reggae artists started doing songs over hip hop beats. This was also frustrating to me cause they usually picked dope beats and would ruin them with some half assed vocal meandering that pretty much sounded like every other hip/hop reggae song. I know it’s blasphemous but fuck all that shit. supacat, mad lion, your man shaggy ect…I know that every time that shit gets played in the club girls and cornballs go nuts, busting out  all sorts of butterfly and bogle variations. I know this..but, as music, it’s fucking terrible. I’d rather listen to the “judgement night” soundtrack and that’s saying  a lot cause I never ever wanna listen to that bullshit again.

 

Conspiracy Theorists

Alaska
Remember the guy in high school who was always telling lies about outlandish shit so people would think he was cool, only nobody ever though they were cool, they just thought he was kind of a dick, but since he had a car and drove a few of the slutty girls who smoked parliments around he was tolerated?  Remember how that kid eventually came home from college and stayed home, around Columbus day because he “missed being at home” but really had a nervous breakdown once he realized that the hot girls didnt like him anymore because EVERYONE had a care and then went on to work at Geek Squad or Staples?  Well this is basically the same person that believes in conspiracy theories.  Well them and rappers.  Would you give any credance to anything either of those two groups of attention seeking assholes has to say?  No.  One makes shit up and the other always “heard it” from someone they know or read it somewhere, just because its in a book doesnt make it true, look at the bible.

Movie Remakes

Block
This is pretty obvious but why? Why do motherfuckers insist on remaking movies that were already great? It’s one thing to remake some movie from the 40′s no one knows about and revamp it for 2009 but to remake some shit made in the 80′s is just bad taste and NEVER works. I think the problem lies in them remaking the wrong movies. If you’re gonna do remakes, take a shitty movies that should have been good, and remake that. Like, I’d love to see “the garbage pail kids movie” remade, or any number of mediocre horror films that teetered on being good but, in the end, came up short. “nail gun massacre” comes to mind. Remaking classics like “halloween” or “friday the 13th” is pointless.  I remember when they remade “psycho” and it was a frame by frame replica of the original. that’s quite possible the dumbest idea ever. Like the world was gonna explode if we never got to see how ann heche would have acted in the shower stabbing scene. I’ll give credit where it’s due and say the “remakes” of batman were dope but , in reality, those movies were made as if micheal keaton never donned the batman tights.  That’s probably why they were so successful, but seriously how bout just making new fucking movies and let the old ones be. If it’s for the kids, so they can be exposed to classics in an appealing (and financially fruitful) way that caters to there 2009 facebook/twitter/sweet 16 sensibilities, then I guess that makes sense but then again, fuck these kids, they don’t know shit about anything and they’re getting dumber by the day.

Fat Girls Who Smoke

Alaska
I am a fat guy who used to smoke.  I understand the allure of over eating and chasing that sandwich with a tasty cigarette.  It’s heavenly.  Yet when a fat girl does it, it’s just annoying. Most times they are loud mouths who hate on pretty girls, and try to mask it in some feminist bullshit that is just a mask for their insecurity or they are cock blocking because all the girls promised to go home together, and someone has to try to make out with her so their friend can get some stank on their hang low.  The problem is they have such shitty personalities because all tehy want to do is fuck up everyone elses good time so we all feel as miserable as they do.  Now just imagine that if she was smoking.  Dont get me wrong there are some really cool fat girls that are super nice, most times people just feel bad for them, but hey there is a brightside, there are plenty of black men who will date them.