2008 entries into the worst person ever hall of fame
People who eat on the train – I understand that life is full of grey areas and this would be no different. The guy that eats a bag of Skittles on the train is fine, it’s the people that come on the train with a Styrofoam take out container filled with chicken wings and French fries from the bullet proof Chinese restaurant that ruin it for everyone. The smell of grease alone is enough to make you want to take a hammer to their teeth, but fact that they spread their discarded bones and napkins across three seats and usually talk loudly with a mouth full of grade d chicken is worthy of a tar and feathering.
45-60 year old Asian women – now this is not dedicated to Asian women who have been here for years or were born in this country. They are quite nice and have adjusted well into our society. This is about the 45-60 year old Asian woman that has been here for maybe 3 years, still wears high waters with flip flops, and only speaks in their native tongue which happens to be the loudest and most piercing language ever created; it would be less jarring if they just spoke in primal screams. On top of that they have a knack for squeezing into the smallest of space if it means they get a seat on the train, causing them to bump up against you and make your shirt smell like hotdog water.
Junkies who think they deserve dignity and respect – so let me get this right, you are in your mid to late 30’s, you are still wearing mustard color jeans, someone’s old pair of Reeboks, an oversized but somehow stretched out wife beater that is slightly stained from the constant layer of sweat that is even present in the winter and you are catching an attitude with me because I didn’t acknowledge you when you asked me for change or because I want you to move out of the entrance to the store I want to go into. You are right, you are worthy of our respect. Its not like you wasted your youth, destroyed your mind and body, smell, lied to your family and friends, every worked a day in your life, or gave anything at all back to the world. My bad your right I should give you money for holding the door open to the ATM because as we all know you are trying to get your life back together. Asshole.
People that use first names when talking about golfers – the only reason you even do this is because you heard your dickhead of a boss or father do this and now you think that’s the way it should be. But really? Is that how you want to live your life? You sound like a bunch of 13 year old girls talking about their favorite new kid on the block except you wear Dockers and boat shoes which makes you even gayer.
And our final inductee:
The bitter city or state employees who is pushing middle age – look I know $35,000 a year and a cushy job where you don’t really have to do anything but take breaks and be incompetent seemed like a great idea when you were 18 and fresh out of high school and all those other suckers were wasting their time going to college, but now that you are a 42 year old heavyset black or Latina woman with three kids wearing floral pattern blouses you got at TJ Maxx, the skinny white broad with smokers breath, coffee stained teeth, frizzy hair, 7 cats and bookshelf full of romance novels, or perhaps the overweight balding white guy with glasses who gets pissed when your mom drinks your orange juice and is so depressed that you don’t even masturbate anymore, or the older black guy who is in phenomenally good shape from doing nothing but pull ups and push ups and read books like the 21 laws of power and hits on the cash register girls at the local market, don’t give me shit because you took the low-hanging fruit. I just need to renew my license it’s not my fault you suck at life.
Ladies and Gentleman your 2008 Worst Person Ever Hall of Fame class.
Old song:
I guess I will make this a running segment until I run out of older, hard to find, or unreleased material:
This is a song I did with Lo-Deck years back. I don’t remember ever recording this and I didn’t remember ever writing this verse. That being said I kinda like it…sure the delivery is a little rough but I think the lyrics hit a bit…at least for the time
http://www.zshare.net/audio/13761840e0fa5133/
45-60 year old Asian women – now this is not dedicated to Asian women who have been here for years or were born in this country. They are quite nice and have adjusted well into our society. This is about the 45-60 year old Asian woman that has been here for maybe 3 years, still wears high waters with flip flops, and only speaks in their native tongue which happens to be the loudest and most piercing language ever created; it would be less jarring if they just spoke in primal screams. On top of that they have a knack for squeezing into the smallest of space if it means they get a seat on the train, causing them to bump up against you and make your shirt smell like hotdog water.
Junkies who think they deserve dignity and respect – so let me get this right, you are in your mid to late 30’s, you are still wearing mustard color jeans, someone’s old pair of Reeboks, an oversized but somehow stretched out wife beater that is slightly stained from the constant layer of sweat that is even present in the winter and you are catching an attitude with me because I didn’t acknowledge you when you asked me for change or because I want you to move out of the entrance to the store I want to go into. You are right, you are worthy of our respect. Its not like you wasted your youth, destroyed your mind and body, smell, lied to your family and friends, every worked a day in your life, or gave anything at all back to the world. My bad your right I should give you money for holding the door open to the ATM because as we all know you are trying to get your life back together. Asshole.
People that use first names when talking about golfers – the only reason you even do this is because you heard your dickhead of a boss or father do this and now you think that’s the way it should be. But really? Is that how you want to live your life? You sound like a bunch of 13 year old girls talking about their favorite new kid on the block except you wear Dockers and boat shoes which makes you even gayer.
And our final inductee:
The bitter city or state employees who is pushing middle age – look I know $35,000 a year and a cushy job where you don’t really have to do anything but take breaks and be incompetent seemed like a great idea when you were 18 and fresh out of high school and all those other suckers were wasting their time going to college, but now that you are a 42 year old heavyset black or Latina woman with three kids wearing floral pattern blouses you got at TJ Maxx, the skinny white broad with smokers breath, coffee stained teeth, frizzy hair, 7 cats and bookshelf full of romance novels, or perhaps the overweight balding white guy with glasses who gets pissed when your mom drinks your orange juice and is so depressed that you don’t even masturbate anymore, or the older black guy who is in phenomenally good shape from doing nothing but pull ups and push ups and read books like the 21 laws of power and hits on the cash register girls at the local market, don’t give me shit because you took the low-hanging fruit. I just need to renew my license it’s not my fault you suck at life.
Ladies and Gentleman your 2008 Worst Person Ever Hall of Fame class.
Old song:
I guess I will make this a running segment until I run out of older, hard to find, or unreleased material:
This is a song I did with Lo-Deck years back. I don’t remember ever recording this and I didn’t remember ever writing this verse. That being said I kinda like it…sure the delivery is a little rough but I think the lyrics hit a bit…at least for the time
http://www.zshare.net/audio/13761840e0fa5133/
posted by Alaska aka Timillionaire at
11:50 AM
1 Comments:
laf at the old azn women one ;)
Post a Comment
<< Home