Celebrity Extremes
As a ‘G-List’ celebrity I get the opportunity to be around and/or meet many celebrities. Most times it’s kind of exciting like when I got to meet Chuck D or Del. Granted they aren’t the biggest celebrities but they had some influence in my life. Other times, I get to see what the celebrity is like once they are forced into the real world and away from the cameras. Like the time I passed Prodigy and realized he is no bigger than the average third grader, or when I saw America Ferrara from Ugly Betty in Jimmy Kimmel’s green room and realized she is not really ugly, rather incredibly average. Most times, it is a pretty mundane meeting, a “Hey how you doing?” followed by a handshake, and then the two of us going our separate ways. But sometimes you get to have a truly amazing experience meeting a celebrity—unfortunately, most times it’s not amazing good but amazing awkward. Still every now and then you get to have an experience so awesome that if Jesus appeared in front of you with the sweetest set of tits this side of the Mason-Dixon Line they would pale by comparison. With that said, let’s explore the two extremes and get to the meat of my celebrity pot pie.
In 2004 we played a show at Bowery Ballroom in conjunction with the release of a CD dropped by Jux and Urb magazine, basically as an act of protest to the war in Iraq. Since the war is over, obviously our protest worked. The show was during the Republican Convention and I guess it was seen as part of the mass protest that seemed to be going on in NYC as a response to the Bush administration’s presence in our fair city. It was probably only the second most effective protest, the first being the one where a thousand hippies on bikes rode up Sixth Ave. Way to fight the power guys. Speaking of fighting the power, the show was hosted by legendary PE frontman Chuck D. We got to spend some time with Chuck chilling in the green room, and as a long time fan it was an honor and a privilege.
Flash forward to the summer of 2005 and we are on the Van’s Warped Tour and PE was on the Atlanta bill. I ran into Chuck after the show and started talking with him, foolishly assuming that he remembered me from that show. After some reminding and mentioning Mr. Lif, Chuck says ‘Oh Lif is awesome’ and at this point it was completely awkward. So in an attempt to remove myself from the situation I bid Chuck farewell and go to give him a pound. Unfortunately we got our pound waves mixed. I was going in for the ‘bro grip’ and he was going with the fist. The end result was me grabbing the fist, shaking it and quickly fleeing the scene. I would say this is one of my top 5 rap-related memories.
As I’m sure you can tell, the previous story was the awkward one. Now for the best thing that has ever happened to me as a result of being part of “the scene”. Sometime in 2000-and-something, Can Ox was opening for Ghostface and Kool G. Rap at B.B King. Outside of a stellar Kool G. Rap performance, the show was pretty much a typical rap show: Can Ox forgetting their rhymes and Ghost performing with 30 of his closest friends.
What made this night different was that one of his closest friends was Tracy Morgan. This was during the height of Tracy’s SNL celebrity. Ghost had Tracy do some stand up during the set and he was obviously intoxicated, slurring many times during his riff about cock rings. Then Ghost went back into the set and finished the show.
The night was over and I was relatively hammered. I hit the coat check and was ready to head out for the night, when I heard a commotion behind me. It was Tracy Morgan coming through the crowd with a few others. While working his way through the crowd gathered around the coat check, a kid who looked like a typical poster here at philaflava shouts “I love Brian Fellows!” Tracy stops dead in his tracks, turns and looks the kid up and down. The moment was tense for all around. Then Tracy screams at the kid “If you like Brian Fellows you’re a FAGGOT! My wife thought of that shit and it’s gay!” With that, Tracy disappeared into the night, probably to smoke PCP.
So as you see, loyal reader, in addition to being around as shit is happening, I get to have awkward moments with childhood heroes. Not necessarily as awkward as say a cancer kid who is a huge Michael Jackson fan, but awkward none the less. As always, in the words of PhilaFlava’s favorite Canadian, “Rap is outta control :miketysonface:”
In 2004 we played a show at Bowery Ballroom in conjunction with the release of a CD dropped by Jux and Urb magazine, basically as an act of protest to the war in Iraq. Since the war is over, obviously our protest worked. The show was during the Republican Convention and I guess it was seen as part of the mass protest that seemed to be going on in NYC as a response to the Bush administration’s presence in our fair city. It was probably only the second most effective protest, the first being the one where a thousand hippies on bikes rode up Sixth Ave. Way to fight the power guys. Speaking of fighting the power, the show was hosted by legendary PE frontman Chuck D. We got to spend some time with Chuck chilling in the green room, and as a long time fan it was an honor and a privilege.
Flash forward to the summer of 2005 and we are on the Van’s Warped Tour and PE was on the Atlanta bill. I ran into Chuck after the show and started talking with him, foolishly assuming that he remembered me from that show. After some reminding and mentioning Mr. Lif, Chuck says ‘Oh Lif is awesome’ and at this point it was completely awkward. So in an attempt to remove myself from the situation I bid Chuck farewell and go to give him a pound. Unfortunately we got our pound waves mixed. I was going in for the ‘bro grip’ and he was going with the fist. The end result was me grabbing the fist, shaking it and quickly fleeing the scene. I would say this is one of my top 5 rap-related memories.
As I’m sure you can tell, the previous story was the awkward one. Now for the best thing that has ever happened to me as a result of being part of “the scene”. Sometime in 2000-and-something, Can Ox was opening for Ghostface and Kool G. Rap at B.B King. Outside of a stellar Kool G. Rap performance, the show was pretty much a typical rap show: Can Ox forgetting their rhymes and Ghost performing with 30 of his closest friends.
What made this night different was that one of his closest friends was Tracy Morgan. This was during the height of Tracy’s SNL celebrity. Ghost had Tracy do some stand up during the set and he was obviously intoxicated, slurring many times during his riff about cock rings. Then Ghost went back into the set and finished the show.
The night was over and I was relatively hammered. I hit the coat check and was ready to head out for the night, when I heard a commotion behind me. It was Tracy Morgan coming through the crowd with a few others. While working his way through the crowd gathered around the coat check, a kid who looked like a typical poster here at philaflava shouts “I love Brian Fellows!” Tracy stops dead in his tracks, turns and looks the kid up and down. The moment was tense for all around. Then Tracy screams at the kid “If you like Brian Fellows you’re a FAGGOT! My wife thought of that shit and it’s gay!” With that, Tracy disappeared into the night, probably to smoke PCP.
So as you see, loyal reader, in addition to being around as shit is happening, I get to have awkward moments with childhood heroes. Not necessarily as awkward as say a cancer kid who is a huge Michael Jackson fan, but awkward none the less. As always, in the words of PhilaFlava’s favorite Canadian, “Rap is outta control :miketysonface:”
posted by Alaska aka Timillionaire at
2:31 PM
1 Comments:
tracy loves to get wet. who's worse with remembering their rhymes, vast or vordul?
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